Honesty & Extreme Ownership

Blog post HERE:

The #1 biggest factor that will determine your success, is how honest you are with yourself. The more realistic your view of reality, the better you’ll be able to change it.

Think about it—if you’re always lying to yourself about your health, how can you ever change it? If you always tell yourself that “you’re happy,” when you’re not, how can you change it? If you can’t even admit that you’re terrified of talking to girls, how can you ever find your dream wife?

In your journey towards becoming a total boss, you need to understand the 3 layers of honesty:

  1. Being honest with yourself
  2. Being honest with others about facts
  3. Being honest with others about facts AND your feelings about the facts

The first one is the easiest, but most people don’t even accomplish that. The second is harder, and the third is the hardest—you should strive for reaching the third level, though.

The first level simply entails self-honesty. Are you overweight? Admit it. Are you terrified of quitting your job? Admit it. Do you hate your wife? Admit it. Be 100% honest with yourself, so that you can figure out a game plan to change things.

The second level entails reporting the facts to others, without lying directly or by omission. Did you cancel plans, because you’d rather hang out with somebody else? Then say so. Did you crash your friend’s car, because you were drunk? Then say so.

Then, there’s the third level, which is reporting not just the FACTS, but your FEELINGS about the facts.

The third level of honesty is the goal—when you learn to not only be honest with yourself, but to also be completely honest with others, your entire life will flourish.

Think of it as building your life on a “sturdy foundation.” If you build your life upon lies, it’s like building a house upon sand. Building your job, your friends, your relationships, and your entire life around honesty, however, is like building a house on firm, solid ground.

Outstanding post by Jon Anthony. Brutal and total honesty is a critical aspect for any sort of development or forward progress with your life. I speak from experience; it is only when you start the process of total honesty that development begins, for only through total honesty can you find your faults, admit that they are faults, admit the extent of the faults, and then work to solve them. Until the honesty is there, you will just continue to deceive yourself about the issues that face you. Honesty is the first step.

Honesty is also one of the reasons why I love hitting the weights. The iron does not lie! You can either lift something or you cannot. And you better not lie about what you can actually do, because if asked to prove, the iron will show you to be a liar you matter how much your mouth is talking.

And in addition to extreme honesty, I suggest extreme ownership as well, which is directly linked to honesty. So what does extreme ownership mean? It means own your failures like a boss. Even if your role in the failure is minor, own it! Why? Because by owning a failure as your own, you give yourself the power to change it. When you blame others, or try to pass some of your own blame off, you remove power from yourself. By contrast, to own something is to have control of it, and to be able to change it or modify it. And that gives you the power to change.

So brutal honesty and extreme ownership. Two keys to positive development.

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