The Reconquista Initiative
Dear Liberals, Progressives, SJWs, and Leftists of all Stripes,
Today, I want to talk to you about something important; something that is, in a word, problematic. In the last few months, and especially with the victory of Donald Trump, the Western world has seen the rise of a movement sometimes referred to as the ‘Alternative Right’, or ‘Alt-Right’. Now, before you recoil in a micro-aggressive spasm at the sound of this word and then retreat to a safe space to play with some play-doh, I really want you to pause for a moment and reflect upon the systemic and institutional bigotry—of which you are likely a part—that has marginalized this group of people for years. Indeed, the fact is that both the overt and internalized bigotry that has been displayed against this downtrodden minority group has risen to the point where we now have to call this prejudice for what it truly is: alt-rightophobia.
Now I know that progressives and liberals may not want to hear these hard words, but being a group of individuals who embrace tolerance, champion multiculturalism, and celebrate diversity like no one else, I know that you, my progressive friends, will no doubt extend that boundless tolerance to a group of people as politically marginalized but culturally unique as the alt-right. After all, if you are happy to extend a near boundless tolerance to even radical Muslim terrorists and Islamists—even making excuses for them by seeking for the ‘root causes’ of their disenfranchisement and alienation in Western society or by blaming conservative Christians in their stead—then I have no doubt that you can extend that same courtesy to those on the alt-right, especially since the alt-right has not even caused a fraction of the death and mayhem that Islamists have over the last twenty-odd years.
Furthermore, I just have to say that the left’s current lack of tolerance for the alt-right—the very lack of tolerance which flames the fires of alt-rightophobia and creates a hostile environment which furthers the oppression of the alt-right—has a racist taint to it, especially given that the majority of those on the alt-right are Caucasian. Now, I know, I know. You will say that an ideology or political movement is usually composed of people from numerous different races and ethnicities, and so it is obviously not “racist” to criticize a mere ideology or set of ideas. But that is exactly what we on the right said when we tried to bring up legitimate criticisms of Islam, and yet you called us racists anyway. So, quite frankly, we have seen the progressive light and we now truly understand that criticism of the alt-right is indeed a most egregious form of racism. And don’t try to claim that criticism of the alt-right is not racist because racism requires prejudice combined with institutional power and oppression, for given the way in which the left holds sway in universities, and in a great portion of the mainstream media, and in Hollywood and television, and even in many businesses, it is clear that there is a great deal of institutional power oppressing the marginalized alt-right at every turn. So check your god-damn privilege!
And, in fact, with the recent outbreak of violence and assaults against Trump supporters after his victory, we see this prejudice and racism manifest itself in physical violence against victims who did nothing more than support Donald Trump. This has to stop! After all, as you progressives have always told us, not only should we not, in any way, blame the victims for what occurs to them, but we need to believe these victims as well. Well, we believe the victims of anti-Trump and anti-alt-right violence! We believe them so much that we have to say: “Alt-Right lives matter!”
Still, I can hear you grumbling that you have clear arguments against those on the alt-right and that you have rational reasons to oppose them. And I understand your claim, I really do. But when we on the right made that same claim concerning our arguments and reasons against homosexual marriage, for example, you progressives still called us ‘homophobes’ and ‘bigots’ anyway. So again, we’ve now learned, and so we ask that you stop trying to hide your alt-rightophobia and political bigotry behind spurious appeals to allegedly rational arguments and evidence. Furthermore, as you, my progressive comrades, well know, we all have a human right not to be offended or triggered, and so your claims to speak the truth about the alt-right, whether factual or not, still hurts us and triggers us in ways that you cannot possibly imagine, especially given our historic oppression at the hands of the left. So your so-called truth claims need to just plain stop. Stop them right now! There is no room in modern society for alt-rightophobes!
But no doubt you will say that we on the alt-right have unrepentant racists in our group, and we even have some members who literally believe that they are a superior species of human being in comparison to other humans—they literally believe that they are some type of “super-humans”! Now I grant you that even I thought this claim by some members of the alt-right was ridiculous. After all, while we all have different traits and capacities, we are all still members of the same human species, and objective reality does not bend to our desires. Or so I thought. But then the progressive transgender movement enlightened me! After all, if a man can magically become a woman or a little girl simply because he feels that way and declares himself to be female, then surely there is no principled objection that can be mounted against a person who feels like he is of a superior species based on his mere feeling and his declaration that it is so. And so even here you progressives have opened my eyes to the wonders that come with embracing the ‘belief-equals-reality’ point-of-view, for it has allowed me to embrace the truth that those on the alt-right who feel like they are literally a superior species of human being in comparison to the rest of us really are superior! It’s like a glorious form of magic! And even if this reasoning does not convince you, and even if you still continue to really dislike certain segments of the alt-right, remember that a few bad apples do not spoil the bunch. That is, once again, what leftists say again, and again, and again, about Islam. Besides, in reality, the alt-right is just a ‘Movement of Peace’, with only a few extremists in our midst who hijack and distort our ideas.
Finally, I just want to mention that as we move forward in our quest for social justice for the very alt-rightists that have been shunned in universities and everywhere else that the left maintains a grip on power, we need to watch our language. For example, the term ‘far right’ needs to stop being used not only because this term is just a social construct meant to oppress and marginalize those on the alt-right, but also because the word ‘far’ implies that we, as a group, are distant and disconnected from society and from other people; but such an idea is radically harmful to our sense of self-worth and our personal positivity—not to mention being horribly offensive—and so use of this psychologically-damaging term needs to cease immediately. Remember: freedom of speech does not mean the freedom to spread hate!
Look, the fact is that alt-rightophobia is the civil rights issue of our time. You might scoff at this ‘phobia’ and claim that it is utter nonsense, but it is every bit as legitimate as all the other ‘phobias’ that the left has thrown at the right for years. And you might shake your head in disgust at the blatant irrationalities that have been offered in this letter to you, but note that in our fight for equality for the alt-right, we have only emulated you progressives and liberals as best as we could. Now of course you could disregard all the reasoning and points that we have put forward here, the very same reasoning and points that you progressives have used for years, but we would never be so crass as to believe that progressives and liberals are just a bunch of inconsistent hypocrites who have only been using these tactics as a means to gain more and more political power against the right through the twisting of language, the use of emotive persuasion, and through social shaming. Indeed, we would never believe that the left, both culturally and politically, might attack the right in the West while still happily and thus hypocritically dealing with other non-Western nations and groups that are exponentially worse than any right-wing group in the West is. No, we would never believe any of that. And so, knowing the intellectual consistency that rests in the very bones of every progressive leftist, we eagerly await your alliance in this great social struggle of our time; the social struggle to eradicate alt-rightophobia. It is, after all, 2016.
P.S. – Obviously, this is a parody. The fact is that the alt-right, and the Hard-Right, do not care what you think of us, what you call us, or what you label us as. But the fact that this entire letter is composed of modern leftist talking points, and yet is simultaneously absurd, should make any sane liberal wake-up and wonder what the hell happened to the political left over the last few years.